My birthing story | A trip down the memory lane |
12th April 2020, 7:00am in the morning came with a lot of thrill. I was 37+1 day pregnant and not fully prepared to bring my lil girl into this world. But things took a turn in no while, MY WATER BROKE and we just started prepping up to rush to the hospital. But yes, we paused for a while, had a good breakfast, took shower. Took a moment to breathe and accept the fact that once we are outta here, we are only coming back home with our little girl. We hugged and waited for the taxi!
Next moment I was in the hospital, waiting for REAL contractions to begin and we waited for almost 10 hours with no luck. Anant waited at the hospital gate, thanks to the pandemic. At 7:00 pm, I was induced orally. It’ was all hunky dory so far. Within next few moments it all started to get REAL. The contractions were STRONG and very CLOSE. All by myself in that hospital room, feeling all the feels and painful gush. Unable to stand, unable to sit. My phone was at a one hand distance and it took me forever to reach to it, to give an update to Anant to be ready to come into the labour room (because that was the only time he was allowed to be with me- while I’m in active labour). Well, I decided to first ring the bell to call the nurse because I felt like I was losing my consciousness. 2 nurses rushed in, helped me lift myself from the chair to the bed. It was BAD. The thing I faintly remember from those moments is pain and 2 strangers rushing me from the private room to the labour room!
No mom to soothe me, no husband to hold my hand. No family to share the excitement and anxiety. This is what labour and birthing scenes at the peak of pandemic, April 2020 looked like, for me and for many other moms around the world.
Moments later, Anant was by my side, and so were a team of 4 midwives and 2 doctors. I was encouraged to breathe through the pain. I was taken care of. Slowly and yet very quickly I was dilating. This went on for few hours! Doctors kept monitoring my baby and me. It was happening! She was ready to pop out! I was 9cm dilated! But at the 11th hour, our story took a turn! At about 11:50pm the doctor confirmed that our girl is stressed out and I will need an emergency c section! Not that I was not prepared but yes I was not fully prepared! I was rushed into OT. Anant was asked to wait outside. The next thing I remember in a blur is being shifted on a OT bed. About 6-8 of medical staff running around me, all the hush hush, those OT lights above me and an anesthesiologist standing to my left prepping to make me numb. Little, but what I remember is seeing an air plug mask in his hands coming towards my face and I was gone! Numb for rest of the events. Unconscious. And our Haley was born at 12:00am, 13th April2020.
When I came back to consciousness, I was in a different room, I heard Anant say- “hey our Haley is right here in my arms. It’s been 3 hrs she’s here. She looks just like me but has your big nose. She’s beautiful.”
I was still registering and in a blur. Still in much pain. Couldn’t move my legs, was sore all over but happy to know my girl arrived safe was in good health. Eager to embrace her and share the joy with Anant. But before we could celebrate, Anant was asked to leave, because Covid rules.
The next 4 days, it was just myself and her. Nurses and doctors came in only for limited rounds. No on demand help or care, like in the normal times. Anant would leave meals for me at the hospital gate, each time only hoping that he gets to see us. While it was difficult for me to manage alone, I think it was even harder for Anant to stay away and not being able to see or meet us.
Through the pain of stitches and fear managing a new born all by myself I can only think of myself as some super woman. I don’t know how I did it. But yes, I know I have birthed a strong willed girl who can always refer back to this story of her mother when she doubts her strengths in life.
Having looked back to this one year of roller coster ride called parenting (in a pandemic), I’m only proud and happy. Yes, there were times we were losing our shit. There were times we thought we couldn’t do this any more. But just like that we raised her to her ONEderland. She is more than what we could have asked for. She brings joy and relief. Through our struggles and doubts, her naughty smile reassures us – that we are doing it right!
🥂 to Haley-Mama-Papa and our future that is only BRIGHT💕
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